


(More Than) 5 Crack Finales (That Might Still Be Better Than What HBO Gives Us)

by GreyHaven, queenbookwench



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: AU, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Not!Fic, Plot Bunnies - Freeform, Scenarios, feel free to borrow these, season 8 fix-it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 16:38:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18877042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyHaven/pseuds/GreyHaven, https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenbookwench/pseuds/queenbookwench
Summary: So my Game of Thrones co-conspirator GreyHaven and I were getting our rant on in Gchat earlier this week and I started thinking up crack finale ideas, as you do.She encouraged me to share them, so here we are. They start out very “lol nothing matters,” but end up rather sweet because I just can’t help myself I Guess.These were originally posted on Tumblr, and I decided to bring them over here for archiving purposes.I'm tagging "Major Character Death" to be safe, but these are considerably less graphic than canon.





	1. Ending One (Bronn, gen)

Welp, Bronn’s little speech about how cutthroats become lords…wasn’t wrong. And what’s a King but a bigger sort of lord? 

A few well-placed crossbow shots and…I give you King Bronn, first of his name! 

He might not be the best king Westeros has ever had, but he isn’t the worst, actually. 

He’s chiefly remembered for melting the Iron Throne back into swords for the army, though his comment that, “I get the fiery shits every time I look at that bleeding thing,” is less well-known to history.

Tyrion is his Hand and honestly only a little bit annoyed about the reversal in their fortunes.


	2. Ending Two (Martells & Tormund, gen)

While everyone is distracted, the Dornish swoop in and take the city, killing both Targaryen claimants in the process. 

They raze Kings Landing and move the capital to Sunspear, and are happy to recognize Sansa as Queen in the North on account of the North being “too far away and too fucking cold.”

Tormund becomes King-Beyond-the-Wall and invites any war refugees with the stomach for a new life to become Free Folk. 

A surprising number do.


	3. Ending Three (Danaerys Targaryen/Daario Naharis, Priestesses of Rh'llor)

A mysterious not-Melisandre Red Priestess arrives and announces that Danaerys has been partially possessed by a fragment of the Night King’s spirit, but she can exorcise her.

She does but since it was the type of mind control that builds on what’s already there (think Garibaldi in _Babylon 5_ Season 4 if you’ve watched it), Dany still feels tremendous guilt. She realizes that the people of Westeros won’t accept her after that, even if it wasn’t completely _her_.

And more than that, she wants to go _home_ , and she didn’t realize Meereen was home until she left it behind.

She writes a letter that starts, _Dear Daario_ , and when she lands in the courtyard he’s waiting for her. Grey Worm considers leaving her but ultimately decides to stay.

They scatter Missandei’s ashes together on the closest beach to Naath.


	4. Ending Four (compatible with Ending Three, Jon/Tormund, Arya/Gendry, Davos Seaworth, Yara Greyjoy)

Jon refuses the throne and elopes to the North with Tormund. His one and only act as King is to hand the throne over to Gendry, who accepts because, well, he already agreed to be a lord and a king is just a bigger sort of lord, innit? 

Davos, who is his Hand, writes a book called _So You’ve Been Suddenly Elevated to the Nobility: A Helpful Guide_ , for these increasingly common situations, and it becomes an instant bestseller. Lord Bronn sends a street kid out to buy a copy but refuses to admit he’s read it.

The remaining population of Kings Landing (especially Flea Bottom) is very proud of their local boys.

Arya spends a couple of years traveling with Yara’s more peaceful Iron Fleet, and enjoys seeing the world without (usually) the pressure of trying to kill anyone or avoid anyone trying to kill her. 

But whenever she sees something cool, she thinks about telling Gendry, so eventually she goes back. And he’s like, “we don’t _have_ to get married, you could just be my mistress and do what you want; it’s not like I can’t legitimize the kids if we have any.” 

So she moves in without much fanfare and a couple of years later they do make it official.


	5. Ending 5 (Sansa/Tyrion + Yara, Westeros/Democracy)

Tyrion and Sansa get married and take the throne, but get busy laying the groundwork for representive government when they discover that they can’t have kids.

Avoiding a succession crisis is important to both of them for obvious reasons. 

Yara gets invited down from the Iron Islands for threesomes on the regular, and a good time is had by all.


	6. Ending Six (Sam/Gilly, Davos)

The kingdom clamors for a truly peaceful ruler, to heal from after the war. 

Jon flatly refuses, but champions another candidate. He's even a legitimate heir to a noble house!

Enter…King Samwell and Queen Gilly, first of their names.

King Samwell brings a new era of scientific and intellectual openness to Westeros; Queen Gilly invents public elementary schools, which she names “Princess Shireen Academies.” 

Ser Davos is her biggest supporter, and his bestselling scroll continues to be helpful.


	7. Ending Seven (Brienne & Jaime, Drogon, possibly Brienne/Jaime eventually)

Sooo, Brienne has some Targaryen blood, doesn’t she?? When Dany is killed, a grief-maddened Drogon remains.

Brienne (who is in the South with Sansa because of Reasons) no longer cares much for her own life, and as she moves toward the dragon to do— _something_ —she realizes that she can feel something of his loss and rage.

He lets her come closer and she whispers to him with the random bits of Valyrian she’s picked up from brief training with the Unsullied at Winterfell. Then she’s on his back and away.

After that one (terrible yet glorious) flight, Drogon lands on Dragonstone and basically dies of a broken heart. Brienne would rather like to do the same but Westeros needs a ruler and quite a few people seem to think it should be her.

And Brienne _knows_ duty and service, deep in her bones. She can do this one more thing, though she rather dreads the thought of her child being lumbered with this task someday…

Her devoted inner circle is now-Ser Podrick, Arya (she wanted to knight her but Arya refused), and perhaps surprisingly, Ser Davos (he doesn’t judge her for Jaime, she doesn’t judge him for Stannis anymore). She and Queen Sansa of the North write each other ravens on a regular basis...

 

Meanwhile, a young septa doing relief work finds a badly injured man in the ruins. She doesn’t recognize him but she does recognize Queen Cersei, and she almost leaves him to die...but she doesn’t.

The septas of the convent watch and wait—will he die? Will the wound to his head leave him simple?

Neither of those happens, but when he wakes he remembers nothing of his past life, not even his own name.

The Mother Septa of the convent names him Arthur Waters, and he gives her a sweet smile. “I quite like the name Arthur,” he tells her. He’s a gentle soul but proves surprisingly handy in chasing off the street toughs trying to steal from the orphanage.

There are many in Kings Landing with lost limbs, so he doesn’t stand out…much…

 

(I might actually write this one)


	8. Ending Eight (Bran, Arya, Sansa, Nymeria, Meera Reed; implied past Bran/Jojen)

Regardless of where she is, Arya’s dream-warg bond with Nymeria remains. So she knows when Nymeria brings a litter of puppies to Winterfell’s godswood.

One clearly wants to stay with Sansa, another chooses Bran.

Bran tries repeatedly to send it away, because he doesn’t think there’s enough humanity left in him to bond with another creature but this tiny wolfling just wears him the fuck down.

A few weeks later he writes a letter to Meera Reed that simply says, “I’m glad you lived; I’m sorry for everything; I miss him too.” 


End file.
